Indoor Date Ideas That Don't Feel Like Staying In
In this article
The nothing-to-do night What the house gives you Why the room isn't the problem Slow nights Playful nights Competitive nights Cozy nightsDinner is done, the dishes are in the machine, and one of you says some version of "what do you want to do." The other says some version of "I don't know." Then the TV decides for you.
One gift note that came in with an order put it this way:
"Something to spruce up the nights at home when we have nothing to do!"
Nothing to do is almost never true in a house with a kitchen, a couch, a speaker and two people in it.
Neither of you has an idea ready when the room goes quiet.
So here are twelve indoor date ideas, sorted by what the two of you have the energy for. None of them are a consolation prize.
What the House Gives You That a Restaurant Can't
Going out has a lot of moving parts before the date starts. A reservation. A sitter, maybe. Two showers, two outfits, a drive, parking, a wait, a check, a drive home.
None of that is the date. That's the toll you pay to reach it.
Inside, the toll is zero, and you get three things no restaurant can hand you. Nobody is sitting three feet away. Nothing ends at closing time. And you can be as unimpressive as you feel like being, in whatever you're already wearing.
If what you want is out of the house, go. Book the table. This page is for the nights when that isn't happening.
The Four Walls Are Not the Problem
There's a fair objection to all of this. You've been in these rooms all week. You know the couch.
When I asked couples what they miss most from earlier in their relationship, one wrote:
"Used to find new things to do"
Another said it almost the same way:
"finding new fun things to do"
John and Julie Gottman went at that hunger directly. In Eight Dates they write about couples who added new activities to their lives:
"The more novel and arousing activities (not that kind of arousing), the happier the couples said they were with their relationship."
And they put the bar somewhere most of us can reach:
"Adventure doesn't have to happen on far-off mountaintops or at the risk of life and limb. At its core, it's simply seeking what is new and different."
Michael Easter comes at the same drive from the other end. In Scarcity Brain he walks through old experiments on why animals go looking for things.
Rats crossed an electrified grid for the privilege of entering new territory. Monkeys sat through four frustrating tests for the same reason. None of them were hungry, cold or in danger.
"They explored just to explore."
That pull is in you two, and it has no opinion about your address. It wants a night you haven't had yet, and your living room can supply one.
Slow Nights
For the weeks that took everything. These three ask almost nothing of you except that you stay in the same room.
1. The Do Nothing Night
Who it's for: you're both wiped, and any plan with steps in it is going to get cancelled.
- Pick the night and say it out loud to each other, so it exists.
- Set two rules: no house projects, no social plans, nobody comes over.
- Order food, put on comfortable clothes, and leave both phones in another room for half an hour.
- Pick one low-effort thing to share. A show, a puzzle, music and the couch.
- Before bed, trade two questions: what part of this week drained you most, and what part of it made you feel closest to me.
Cost: free, or whatever the takeout runs.
2. Stop the World
Who it's for: one of you has been carrying more than usual lately and you both know it.
- Run a bath with candles, bubbles and something good to drink. Or skip the bath and give a thirty-minute back rub with soft music going. (Plenty of how-to videos on YouTube if you've never given one.)
- Set the theme for the hour out loud: nothing from the outside world comes in. No phones, no work talk, no logistics.
- Trade halfway through so neither of you is only on the giving end.
Cost: free, or about $20 if you need candles and bubble bath.
3. Let the Music Speak
Who it's for: there's something you'd like to say and neither of you wants a Serious Talk.
- Each of you builds a playlist of five to seven songs around one feeling you want to get across.
- Lights down, candles on, pour the other person's favorite drink.
- Play them one at a time. After each song, say why you picked that one and give them a kiss, somewhere different every time.
Cost: free with whatever you already stream.
Playful Nights
The Gottmans don't treat this part as optional. From Eight Dates: "play isn't a luxury or an indulgence, but a necessity for a successful, happy relationship."
When I asked couples what went missing, one wrote:
"We take ourselves too serious. Forgot how to do silly"
4. Living Room Dance Night
Who it's for: neither of you can dance, and you're both fine being bad at something together for the length of one song.
- Push the coffee table to the wall and pick a song you both like.
- Learn one move together until you can do it without counting out loud.
- Put the song on and use the move. Mess it up. Laugh. Run it again.
- Add a second move next time.
Cost: free, once you know a few moves.
This is the one I build for a living. Date Nights Dancing is 50 easy dance moves across three levels, taught step by step at home on your TV, phone or laptop. The style is social swing, and it's built for complete beginners, the two-left-feet kind included. No rhythm required. The instructors are in jeans and t-shirts, and the whole thing would be rated G or PG.
It also holds up better than a list, because a move you half-learned last week is a different move once you can do it clean.
If one of you flat out doesn't want to dance, don't sell them on it. Pick something else off this page.
5. Relationship Pictionary
Who it's for: you want a game that's about the two of you, and neither of you can draw.
- Each of you takes five to ten minutes to draw one of your first memorable moments together.
- Take turns guessing what the other one was going for.
- Once you've both guessed, stop and talk about the memory for as long as it holds.
- Go two or three rounds.
Cost: free. Paper and a pen.
6. Karaoke With a Twist
Who it's for: neither of you can sing, and you're both at peace with that.
- Pull up karaoke tracks on YouTube. Sing King and Stingray Karaoke both have big libraries.
- Find a microphone in the kitchen. A hairbrush works. So does a spatula.
- Build the list by rule instead of by favorites: a song tied to a shared memory, sung as a duet. A song that sounds like your relationship, also a duet. Then one song each that says how you feel about the other one.
- Finish with one song you're pretty sure the other one loved as a teenager.
Cost: free.
Competitive Nights
Some couples talk more with a game in front of them. Another answer, on what they used to do differently:
"We spent more time actively engaging with each other like playing a game or doing some activity together rather than passively enjoying entertainment like watching TV."
7. The Puzzle Race
Who it's for: you're both a little competitive and neither of you will say so first.
- Buy two copies of the same crossword or sudoku book.
- Agree on the stake before you start. A chore, a favor, who picks the next date night.
- Same puzzle, both of you, one hour. First one finished takes it.
- Make the other person a cup of tea while you play. Sabotage is not in the rules.
Cost: about $15 for the two books.
8. Game Night With Stakes
Who it's for: you own board games and they've been in the closet since the last time people came over.
- Pick a game you both enjoy, not the one you feel like you should play.
- Before the first turn, decide what the winner gets. Cooking is off their hands for a week. They pick the next three date nights. They get a yes to one reasonable request.
- Play it out and pay up. The stake is what keeps it from feeling like a regular evening in.
Cost: free if the game is already in the house.
9. The Compliment Battle
Who it's for: you have five minutes before bed, and the day left the two of you a little short with each other.
- Start a timer.
- Take turns giving each other compliments, delivered in a fighting tone.
- First one to laugh or pause loses, and owes the other a back rub.
Cost: free.
Cozy Nights
The ones that work best when it's dark early and cold out and neither of you wants shoes on.
10. Build a Blanket Fort
Who it's for: you both need to feel about eleven years old for an evening.
- Clear a patch of floor and line two sides with chairs facing outward.
- Drape blankets down the sides for walls and a flat sheet across the top for a ceiling. Binder clips hold the whole thing together. A broomstick across the middle buys you headroom.
- Clip fairy lights along the inside.
- Bring the snacks in after it's built, not before. Then stay in there.
Cost: free if you have the lights. About $25 if you don't.
11. The Hot Chocolate Bar
Who it's for: it's cold, nothing is planned, and you have an hour.
- Make the cocoa from scratch on the stove instead of tearing open a packet. It takes about ten minutes and it tastes like a different drink.
- Set out fixings that go past marshmallows: toffee bits, cinnamon sticks, white chocolate shavings, those pirouette cookies.
- Music on while you build them. Then a board game or a movie, wherever the night goes.
Cost: about $15 for the fixings.
I've sent that one to my newsletter five separate times over two years. It's the closest thing I have to a reader favorite.
12. Chocolate Dipped Romance
Who it's for: you want the night to feel like an occasion without cooking a meal to get there.
- Melt semisweet or dark chocolate chips on the stove with a little milk, cream and vanilla. Don't let it boil.
- Dip strawberries. Bananas, marshmallows and vanilla cookies all work too, and caramel works if chocolate isn't your thing.
- Feed each other. Blindfold whoever is eating if you want to make a game of it.
Cost: about $25.
If what's standing between you and a date night tonight is something else (no money this month, the kids home, nobody with the energy to plan anything), I sorted a bigger list by exactly those obstacles in my guide to at home date night ideas.
Whichever page you use, pick the one you could set up in the next twenty minutes with what's in the house. It doesn't have to be impressive. Something the two of you haven't done in a while is enough.
One snag with a page like this. A list runs out. Twelve nights from now the dishes go in the machine, the room goes quiet, and you're hunting for the next new thing.
That's the reason I built Date Nights Dancing: 50 easy dance moves across three levels, streamed to your living room on any TV or phone, so the new part is already inside the night instead of something you have to go find.
Tonight it looks like this. Push the coffee table back, play one lesson, learn one move together. Then put a song on and use it. Laugh at the first three attempts and run it again.
A few weeks in, it stops feeling like practice. Dinner ends, one of you asks what you want to do, and this time there's an answer already in the house.
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